Chapter 6: Somewhere, beyond the sea...

Somewhere, beyond the sea, lies the island of Koh Phangan.

As explained earlier, the gang of 9 was supposed to take an overnight train so as to reach the ferry terminal on time but little did we know the troubles that was waiting for us at the train station...

Absence of good food(we were pampered by the susages and what nots from our original train station), the need to find our own transport to the ferry terminal, scheming locals, the list goes on....

Lo and behold!

The Suratthani train station!!!

Attractions: Wooden benches that has seen better days, toilets scented with the natural smells of nature, 'friendly' ticketing officers, complete with a dusty surronding to accentuate the rustic feel of the whole setting.

Splendid indeed...

Thus, it was with heavy hearts we left the station in search of a paradise that lie beyond the sea...

Our feelings at this moment can be best explained by this kick-ass picture taken none other than... Tinman aka me.

Forgive the intrusion of Kingkong in this picture though...

But there we were, the gang of 9 looking forward to what will be the next chapter in the chronicles.
*Point to note, we had this kick ass ferry ride, no, ferry will be an insult to the naval vehicle we were in. It's a friggin' ship. I kid you not. It is big. Anyway, we had this ferry on the account that we signed up at some agency that provided us transportation that included a ferry ride to the island and the subsequent transport to the chalet itself. The catch? Staying at the beach chalet/resort/thingy - which we will talk about later.

Guess what was the first thing that we did once we boarded the ship?
We went to brush our teeth.
Now remember, we just arrived on an overnight train, had no desire to commune with nature in the toilet at the Suratthani train station, needed to rush a get a vehicle so that we can be in time for the ferry = no time to brush teeth.
And being the hygiene conscious Stinkaporeans that we are, we took the very first opportunity at seeing a decent toilet to wash up and do our what-nots. *Read: Shave(Tinman), Apply pimple cream/lotion/moisturiser on face(Iceban).

And after we finished washing up and stuff, so of us decided to do this:


*Kingkong in (in)action











While others prefer to do this:








Bad spoof of Tit-tanic by Gnin and Iceban











Sadly, I chose to do this:




Tinman(me) and Iceban having some fun with the float.








In short, we had fun even whilst riding the waves, that's us. The gang of 9.
But despite the fun, we did managed to settle down for quite a bit to discuss about the plans for KPN, where once again, Snakey and DragonLady proved to be the most informed about the places and thus, the rest of us more or less agreed to just follow along... and in hindsight, this was probably when the seeds of discord first started...

And with a heave and a ho, we were there....



And then, there was light.
And yesh, this might have been a scene from "War of the Worlds" if not for the bright sunny day, the mass gathering of Asians and the notable absence of Dakota Fanning. I can stand in for Tom Cruise mah...






We went.
We saw.
And we almost got conquered, for the story doesn't end here.
Happenings are happening as soon as our bleddy feet touched the pier.

So stay tune for more adventures, from the gang of 9.

--Tinman out

Chapter 5: Runaway train...

There goes the choo choo train(not a direct reference to Mr Same Same I hope...).

The journey of a thousand miles start with a single step, and in our case, it started with a freaking train ride.

The first of many to come....

But anyway, the gang of 9 were at this point, still fresh and excited in the land of smiles that a train ride was still... well, interesting.

Here's the 8 of us, with the exception of the camera(wo)man Griang. Looking at this picture and the number of people behind us, I have no friggin' idea why she didn't just ask anyway to take the damn picture for us.

Scene from Harry's.. I mean Harry Potter?

Not exactly.

This was the friggin' train that we were supposed to take, and someone - either Iceban or Gnin - had the 'bright' idea of taking the train's approach.
*The bad lighting makes this thing look like something out of a bad horror show.

Reasons for taking the night train?

1. We can save time, since its a 12+ ride, taking in the day will mean giving up shopping time, sightseeing time etc.

2. We can save $$ on accomodation.

3. We won't arrive in some ungodly hours where there will be NO FERRY for us to take.

For guys like me, Kingkong, Snakey and Ayekay who can fall asleep at the drop of the pants, it makes no difference. But for the rest... ain't exactly my problem eh?
Ironically, the one who got the most sleep in the train ride was....
Yups.

Mr Iceban.

*The hand belonged to the hands itchy Miss Gnin. The eye shades/cover/patch belonged to me.

Price of Blue Adidas Jacket: $80-100

Price of eye shades/cover/patch: Free(kop-ed from SIA)

Price of catching Iceban sleeping like a pig with Gnin's 'victory' sign on the head: Priceless

Nothing much happend on the train ride.
Well, except for the part where one had to balance himself precariously in the toilet to enjoy a few minutes of smoke induced ecstasy and the li'l incident where Kingkong and I while enjoying our fag in the toilet and the wind blew the hot ashes into Kingkong's eyes.
Oh, and they provided some food and drinks. Somewhat akin to those provided in airplanes. Only much worse.
We had... supper and breakfast, if you call those thingys(with the exception of the pizza-like bun) food.
Yeah.
Nothing much.

Oh, and my next phone is going to be a Nokia phone with Symbian technology.
Why?
Cos Snakey realised his phone, a Nokie 7610 had a function that allowed us to know where exactly we were.
Cool?
Way cool..........
We didn't realised the power of such technology until DragonLady discovered that the service provider line thingy you see on the screen changes everytime we reached a station. Ie to say: There's a freaking GPS tracking device embedded in the freaking phone!!!
This device came in handy throughout the trip, for not only were we able to discern where we were, it also meant that we saved ourselves the trouble of craning our damn necks everytime we reach a station to find out where we were....
Way way cool...

Ultimately, the biggest thing I realised in the train ride was that I couldn't start my day without Ayekay saying something to totally f**k it up.

Me: Hey look, there're cows along the tracks!

Ayekay: Eh? *takes a look

Me: Cool huh...

Ayekay: Hey, you think they have some kind of alarm that will signal the train driver if the cows go on the tracks?

Me: Erm.. I don't think so bah...

Ayekay: Then what you think will happen ah? The train run over them and we get minced meat???

Me: OH GAWD!!!!

And so, the train rumbles on...

another update from Europe.

i'm in dublin, ireland! just checked into a guest house, and am using the internet there now. Don't worry guys, Kingkong's still alive and kicking, and in Dublin. (i think that actually rhymes.) tomorrow's a visit to the dublin castle and some museums, then its pub crawling at night. so till brussels, cya!

An apology...

Sorry if there's a drought of posts coming up.

Lotsa things happening in Tinman's life now.
Need some time to get things sort out to let the posts flow.

Bear with me.

Signing off -- Tinman

Updates from Europe.

This is KingKong reporting live from Leeds. England won Trinidad and Tobago 2-0 yesterday. And there's nothing like watching an England match with the English people in a pub. The atmosphere's overwhelming, especially when Peter Crouch scored after so many minutes of deadlock. I swore the sky rained beer. And all the English were shouting and singing when Gerrard scored the second. Life is peaceful here, although the weather is still rather cold, even in summertime. Needs some getting used to. Wore shorts at night to the supermarket and almost froze my balls off. Oh by the way, all ben and jerry's fans in Singapore,they sell flavors like Minter Wonderland and Dublin Mudslide. And guess what? I'm gonna have me a tub of Minter Wonderland BnJ's. Muhahahaha. To all my friends, peace and love.

Out, KingKong.

PS:Tinman, you better post up some stories fast. I'm getting impatient. LOL.

Good day, this is your Vice-Captain speaking...

Since the captain Kong's gonna be out of town for some time, it's 'Vice'-Captain Tinman taking over for now.

Expect the same old brand new stories.

And the adventures of the Circle of 9 continue....

In a few hours....

..i'll be off into the sky, for a long plane ride to Manchester. In my absence, the witty Tinman will continue to post. So keep watching this space for more!

Chapter 4: Chaaaaaatuchak!

The "bowels" of Chatuchak, a term coined by Ayekay. Otherwise known as the internal section of the weekend market. This is where the good shite is, if you know what i mean. Also, unbearably hot and stuffy.

Sidetrack:Chatuchak is a weekend market, easily accessible by train(like the MRT of Singapore). It's basically a huge flea market of sorts, where you can find great bargains. Please wear minimal clothing, and bring plenty of refreshments there to keep your cool.
Personally, i'd recommend Suan Lum night market over Chatuchak anytime. More organised, and cooler (since its at night).


Chatuchak was where Kingkong discovered he had positively inadequate bargaining skills. He heard what Gnin advised them about bargaining the night before. "Slash to a ridiculously low price, and the shop owner should start negotiating with you from there.", was what Gnin said. Kingkong kept that in mind. He found a fake Polo Ralph polo tee (the fake one has four legs instead of three) for his girlfriend's brother, and asked the shopkeeper the price. This was how the conversation went.

Kingkong: How much?
Shop Owner(S.O in short, because it rhymes with a word related to the posterior): Three hand-red and eighty baht.
Kingkong (remembering Gnin's advice): Hundred and ninety baht.
S.O(in a resolute tone): No.

Kingkong was bewildered. The S.O. did not respond the way Gnin said he would. He forked out the three hundred and eighty baht, only to walk to another section of Chatuchak to discover that another shop had the exact same design for ninety-nine baht, sale price. Kingkong did some calculation, and realised he could buy about three such polo tees with the three hundred and eighty baht. Kingkong was fuming mad, and so was Same Same and Iceban, who had also bought shirts from that cheating store.

The guys concluded, at the end of the trip, that somehow girls have never-ending enthusiasm and energy when it comes to shopping, and yet complain a lot, when trekking and walking. The guys never reached the end of Chatuchak. The girls went to the moon and back.

The one shop that really caught Kingkong, and the Circle of Nine's attention were the pet shops that sold puppies.


Dear reader, if you've never seen a group of guys swoon over cute little things like puppies, then you've never met us. Kingkong was appalled at the way the puppies were being kept in small cages. The yelping made it worse. Snakey had to walk away so that he would not be heartbroken by the yelping of the pups.


P.S. This chapter is also dedicated to the death of something memorable to me.
We've walked a long way together,
and finally you decided,
we were not meant for each other.
So you chose the other way.
The damage was done,
and you silently died on me.
In the midst of foreign soil,
rest in peace.
I'll get a new one to replace you.



Goodbye my havaiannas.

Chapter 3:The eagle has landed.

The above is one of the districts in Bangkok where the Circle of Nine had dwelled. Hua Lamphong. No prizes for guess who the person in the pic was. Mr Same Same. Same Same, but Different..

Sidetrack: For the uninitiated, give the roadside food stalls a chance. We did not get any diarrhoea. On the contrary, the food was delicious, and the bbq skewered meat just makes you drool. And a meal there costs on average 40 baht per person, ice water included. Doing the math, its only around SGD 2 dollars! Also for cheap accomodation, try Baan Hua Lamphong Guest House, or the one opposite. Nice, quiet little corner. Very peaceful.

Back to the story.

Place: Hua Lamphong
Date:27/05/2006
Time: 0800hrs, Bangkok Time.(One hour earlier than Singapore)

The driving skills of the minivan airport taxi driver made Tinman, Iceban and Snakey hang their heads in shame. He switched lanes effortlessly and sped on the congested highway like there were no cars on the road at all. Kingkong noted that though the roads were somewhat congested, the pace of the minivan was unrelenting. Kingkong thought of home, and asked Tinman , who was already happily humming chinese pop songs with Iceban, to play another chinese pop song. 牡丹江 by 南拳妈妈. (nice song, by the way) Tinman the pop tart gleefully obliged, and whipped out his handphone to start playing Kingkong's song request. Everyone was humming to the songs, and some even broke out in loud renditions (i.e. Iceban and Tinman). Kingkong looked at the minivan driver, who seemed disturbed and a little confused by the occurrence and wondered if they had unwittingly said any vulgarities in Thai while singing Chinese songs. He hoped not. The driver was frowning, and his wrinkles and crow feet could be seen through the rearview mirror. He began driving faster. The rest of the ride, though, was uneventful.

The driver saw the Circle of Nine off at Hua Lamphong, but he obviously did not know the guest house they wanted to get to. He dropped them off at a DISTANCE away and assured them they could find the guest house nearby. After seeking directions from tour agencies nearby, the circle of nine were finally on the right track. Then came the major obstacle. Crossing roads in Bangkok. The cars were pouring. Kingkong wondered what the big fuss was about, and gallantly dashed across the first zebra crossing in Bangkok he had encountered in his life. The virgin jaywalk overseas. The rest of them who fell behind started screaming "King kong~~~!!!" When they saw the oncoming volume of traffic threatening to swallow Kingkong up. But Kingkong, at the point of time felt a surge of liberation. He felt like he was a swan, swimming gracefully across Swan Lake. Jaywalking was an art form, and Kingkong felt accomplished when he managed to beat the mounting odds against him. He thought he had reached the zenith of his art. Then he heard screams.

The screams came from DragonLady, who seemed to have a phobia of crossing roads, and had to scream each time she crossed a road. Tinman came up to Kingkong and asked him "What the f**k were you thinking, crossing the road like that?" Kingkong merely smiled and said nothing, and they carried on their journey to the guest house, each feeling an adrenaline rush.

The accomodations were finally settled. The Circle of Nine were hot, tired and sweaty, and preferred lodging in a guest house with airconditioning, and cheaper rates. They settled for the other guest house, rather than the one they were supposed to go to. They went for the guest house just opposite Baan Hua Lamphong Guest House. Kingkong quite liked the area. It had a quaint, traditional and peaceful feel to it, and it felt like a second home. The name of the guest house they stayed in, as they later realised, was named "Your Place." Since then, the jibes and jokes about it were unrelenting. Kingkong liked to start the joke first. He would say something like, "Where are we going to sleep tonight, my place?" And someone would answer, usually Griang, Same Same or Gnin, "Yes, your place. Not my place, but Your Place." And the Circle of Nine never once got tired of the joke. Allow me to mention two more incidents which are worth taking note of.

a)Lost in Translation
Dinner was great, and cheap. The only problem was that almost everyone was not eating the food they ordered. You see, dear reader, that the lady owner of the roadside stall was short sighted, and spoke little English, and so had great difficulty speaking and identifying the dishes. As such, everyone was eating everyone else's food, just not their own. Snakey said, as the Circle of Nine were wolfing down their food, "I think we are lost in translation. We took half an hour to settle our accomodation due to language barriers, and now we take another fifteen minutes to order the food." Everyone was quiet. They either silently agreed, or were too busy wolfing down the food to listen. Payment, however was easy, as Kingkong later realised, the lingua franca of the world was not English, but Numbers. Almost every shop owner was equipped with a calculator to handle language barriers. Furthermore, Numbers Don't Lie, with the exception of statistics of course.

b)You scratch my back, i'll scratch yours
A maxim Kingkong carried with him after reading it from a novel called Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. And on that very night he scratched TInman and Iceban's back and had them scratch his. Little did Kingkong know that this maxim would prove useful in later situations.... (to be continued)

Chapter 2: I'm leaving on a jetplane...

Date: 27/05/2006
Time:1500hrs

"....I hope i won't be back again." Kingkong thought to himself, as the song was playing on the car radio. He thought of his future, and shuddered at the prospect of being unable to see clearly into the future. Then again, who could? He thought of the woman beside him, his lover who was driving him to the airport, and he sighed. Theirs was an emotional rollercoaster of sorts, although it seemed to him that this rollercoaster kept descending into the depths recently. Kingkong wondered about her, their future, his would be career and life in general, and tried looking into the future once again, this time with the aid of a windscreen. Still, nothing. Except for moving trees, retreating landscape and a control tower that was growing in size each time the car surged ahead. The airport. The route to a enjoyable getaway was beckoning to him. Paradise. Beach. Blue skies. Sun. Fun. Appease girlfriend. Shopping. Food. Massage. Angry girlfriend.

The first thing Kingkong did when he got off the car was..... to take his luggage, of course. After which he gave this wonderwoman of his a hug, and said "i'm sorry i've made you angry." And as he held her hand and walked past the automatic sliding doors, his smile widened, and he only thought of one word. Paradise.

Then came the inevitable parting with the missus, as the circle of nine, each lugging all their equipment, met up to check in. "Let's go!" Tinman said with a strange fire in his eyes, a mixture of excitement and nicotine craving. Kingkong waved goodbye to the missus, who smiled and disappeared into the crowd, as he turned and tried to clear the unecessary, troublesome bureaucratic procedures that would ensure him passage into the other world.

The wait was quite long, and the circle of nine stopped by a sushi store to grab some really quick bite, and did some book shopping (Iceban and Gnin), before they proceeded to the departure gate. Tinman eventually rejoined the group, lugging a carton of cigarettes, which Ayekay obliged with a certain degree of amusement and bewilderment, to safeguard the cigarettes for him. Tinman felt a sense of accomplished joy. He had, through this action of his, proved his resistance against his authoritarian parents, even though they were not there to witness it. He was a freedom fighter, against whose enemy was absent, and unaware of this act of rebellion. It was a secret rebellion. So hush, dear reader.


It did not take long for his joy to become multiplied, as well as for the joy of the guys in the group. They spotted a buxomy actress who was hot, and the talk of the town. Forna Shea. She was, and still might be, the wet dream for all men, pre pubescent and post vasectomy alike. Yes, oh yes the delicious Forna Shea was on board with the Circle of Nine, and Snakey suddenly got excited when the rest of the guys were talking about the magnitude of her ample assets.

Snakey: "Did you see? Was it big?"
Same Same: "No, couldn't see."
Snakey: "Argh."

Kingkong swore he could see a spark flying out from DragonLady's eye.

Then the conversation went on to a conspiracy theory.
Gnin: "She must be visiting her lover."
DragonLady: "Ya, otherwise why would an actress like her fly on a budget airline?"
Tinman(with an evil laugh): " To keep a low profile, of course. But little did she expect that people like us would notice. Muhahahaha."


And for the first time in his life, Kingkong wondered if Tinman and Ayekay were suffering from incontinence. Their frequent forays to the lavatory, he later realised, were ploys to just take a sneak peek at their eye candy, Forna Shea, and her eyebrow raising assets.

The Circle of Nine were finally on their way to Bangkok, leaving leaving, left on a jetplane. Make that a budget airplane.

Chapter 1: And i said, what about dinner at Breko's?

Date to the best of Kingkong's memory: 25/05/2006
Time: 2100 hrs

The circle of nine had convened in a last ditch effort to organise things. Particulars were taken down, money was exchanged, names were shouted, positions appointed, travel insurances purchased for loss of luggage, loss of appendage, etc. If anyone who reads this finds the time and place familiar, yes the rowdy bunch of people occupying quite some space, laughing, talking, making jokes, were the circle of nine, plus some of the extended family(aka other friends and loved ones) of course, i.e. Tinman's girlfriend Lala who shares the same name as a teletubby , and a cool dude named Lion (remember, names are not to be laughed at, no matter how funny they sound, what more a fictitious name, right?).

No doubt, in everyone's minds, fantasies were beginning to form, of an ideal holiday. massage, shopping, eating, the sand the sun and the sea, and some trekking and adventuring up waterfalls and river rafting. All within the exciting ten days.
Kingkong had just finished watching on television The Amazing Race, the episode where the hippies won. He turned to look at Tinman, who was seated a distance away, and suddenly realised Tinman bore a faint resemblance to one of those hippies. He then turned to the main conversation and said "Hey, it's like Amazing Race, man!" Everyone looked up at him, smiled, and it was quiet for a while, after which the whole table resumed its droning until Kingkong felt like he was drowning in the droning, could take it no further and detached his attention from the conversation to his daydreams. Of a faraway land nicknamed the Land of Smiles, which to him was still the Land of Fantasies, at least for now.

You have been forewarned by the foreword.

Foreword: This web log is created with the intention of writing down my travelogues, fiction style. I have just returned from a ten day graduation trip from thailand with my friends, and am leaving for another one in europe, with a different bunch of people. The characters in the story are real, yet fictitious, certain events may be fantasised or exaggerated, or maybe even real. Read it or not, there's no harm done to you, the reader. So why not read it, right? Wrong. You may find it the most boring, ridiculous, nonsensical bullcrap ever written, and yet at the same time find yourself strangely fixated on it. Am i confusing you yet? Good. Let the story begin.

But before i start, a brief introduction to the wonderful circle of nine that constitutes us. A backpacking, bargaining, brash, brokebacking, brilliant and brave group of nine souls who have ventured into the unknown and came back unscathed, with the exception of darker skin, mosquito bites, some minor coughs and sore throats.

Let us begin with me.

Me (main character of story)
alias Kingkong. Male.

Tinman: Male. Best of friends with Kingkong aka me. Witty, lazy and believes in a liberated and democratic way of living (in vices, i.e. cigarettes, beer and eating fried lard.)

Iceban: Male. Pretty, handsome and oh im sorry. ignore the comma after the word pretty. Pretty handsome. Also best of friends with Kingkong and Tinman. Senstive, helpful, observant superhero whose mission is to prevent the harmful UV rays of the sun from penetrating our skin. Well prepared for any tanning occassions. Loves shopping.

Gnin: Female. Big eyes and has the head of a vegetable. Shopping impulse and radar constantly in hyperfunction. Chief bargainer of the group. Loves adventure. Best of friends with tinman, iceban and kingkong.

Ayekay: Male. Second superhero of the group, with an alter ego called Nature Boy. Able to identify species of wildlife from a mile away. Protector of the ecosystem.

Griang: Female. Is a couple with mr same same, who will be mentioned later. Enjoys the company of her self proclaimed buddies and "flings" (aka tinman). Unpredictable mood swings sometimes, due to a certain mr same same.

Same Same: ....but different. Male? Quiet, softspoken and agreeable man. Androgynous. Is the boy?friend of griang. Treasurer of the group.

DragonLady: Female. High tolerance of spices. Feisty and loves to melt Tinman with her breath of fire. Has a penchant for high risk adventures. Is the second in command of the group.

Snakey: Male. Much like a snake. Quiet and peaceful (and lazy) when unprovoked, rises to the occasion, fangs bared when the occasion calls for some bite. Leader of the group. Is the boyfriend of DragonLady.


As such, i have established the circle of nine. Take your time, read the character synopsis, and imagine what it would be like to travel with people like us. Or maybe you have even encountered people like them in your tours before. So, would you shudder at the thought, or feel that you could enjoy the company of us? That should be the impetus for your decision to read on.